i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
