Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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