So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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