im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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