on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
