the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
time to smoke my breakfast
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
