She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
