Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
