WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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