I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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