I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
