His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
