Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
