Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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