Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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