About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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