You're so nebulous sometimes
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
