Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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