i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
