dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
