adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
