so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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