yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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