6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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