Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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