Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i out mim tonsoeep
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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