we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
