I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
