Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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