Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
