he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
