woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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