oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
