Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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