I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
