have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
