we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
