If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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