He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
