is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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