Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
