I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
