im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its not stalking. its research.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
