my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
