you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
