I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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