"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
