Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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