I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so much tequila, so little girl.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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