Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
