I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
